By Bruce Keith
Every time one of your customers is preparing to give you some bad news, they always start with the disclaimer, “Don’t take it personally”. They tell us that “it’s not about you” or “it’s not your fault” or “we just decided on someone/something else.” As recently shared by author Seth Godin, there is a paradox here. First of all, how else do they think we would we take it? They are rejecting us! They are telling us NO. It’s hard not to take it personally. On the other hand, it’s never personal, it’s not about us… it’s all about them! After all, they are the customer.
It really boils down to staying mentally tough enough to handle the rejection and move on. Here are some ideas on how to do that:
1. Be sure that they really are saying no. Often a good question to ask is, “What do you need to see/hear/feel to help you choose my solution to meet your needs?” Maybe they aren’t as sure about saying no as they sound.
2. If it is a definite no, then take a deep breath and get over it. Rejection is never easy and at the same time, it’s part of the process of commissioned sales. Surely you did not expect everyone to say yes.
3. What would you normally do next if it was just another sales call or phone call? Go back to your daily routine. The faster you “get back on the horse”, the quicker the pain goes away. Next.
4. If you are still having trouble getting over it, there is one more solution. Decide on a specific length of time and date that you are going to be frustrated, disappointed, in mourning. When the time is up, it’s business as usual. Make it a short cycle and get back to your life. No drama allowed.
The next time someone starts off a sentence by saying, “Don’t take it personally” make sure you pay attention to what they said. It’s not about you! It’s always about them because that’s who they are looking after. Great salespeople work on their mental toughness every day. Focus on your victories, not your losses. Besides… your victories are a lot more fun to remember anyway. No excuses.
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People do strange things. People do things that from the outside appear extremely irrational. Often they make fools of themselves. There is no doubt that some people are addicted to approval.
When little children want approval, it’s easy to identify. They are very transparent in how they look for praise and acceptance. When it comes to adults it is not nearly as easy to spot. Some celebrities fall into this trap… people like Charlie Sheen, Sarah Ferguson and Lindsay Lohan come to mind. We would be hard-pressed to argue against the theory that they are merely addicted to approval.
Some salespeople also fall into this trap, looking for a YES at any cost.
The job of salespeople is to seek and gain approval. The danger comes when you make irrational decisions in order to get that approval. Here are some signs:
1. Cutting your commission.
2. Not closing five to seven times.
3. Not following up in a timely fashion.
Usually our justification comes from, “I don’t like to be pushy” or “I don’t want to chase them away.” How to deal with this? Great salespeople deal with these limiting beliefs by staying focused on their priorities. Your priorities should always be to:
1. Help those who need you.
2. Move past those who don’t need you (keep checking on their motivation).
3. Don’t forget to focus on your motivation too. What are you trying to achieve? What is your goal?
Like many things in our business, it sounds simple enough but it isn’t. This takes practice, discipline, support and accountability. Make sure these items are part of who you are and who you are becoming. If you’re looking for approval, it’s okay. Just focus first on getting the approval of those in your personal life by being successful in your business life. One begets the other.
Bruce Keith, the “Sales Coach”, began his sales career at IBM and 15 years later used his marketing and sales expertise to develop a highly successful real estate business. He is a master of teaching “what to say and how to say it”. His high energy and entertaining training style has allowed him to create a popular coaching and seminar business for numerous sales organizations during the last 12 years. www.brucekeithresults.com.
Bruce Keith is a leading Real Estate Coach/Author/Speaker. Like Bruce Keith Results on Facebook or connect with Bruce on Linkedin. Email Bruce Keith.
