If you are having financial difficulties and are striving to succeed, it means you have not yet convinced your subconscious mind that you will always have plenty and receive even more.
We all know people who work a few hours a week and have all the business they want and make lots of money. They don’t slave away hard at all. Don’t believe the old story that the only way you can achieve wealth is by working hard. It is not so. The effortless way of life is the best. Below are the phases you must go through to achieve passive business.
The first stage of your development is the getting phase, which is almost childlike and it is quite normal as part of the process to mastering money. Often when we’re starting something new, we start off at a low level of development and work our way up. Most people are in a getting phase, which is a selfish perspective. For instance, in business we are trying to get new clients and get more income or cash flow.
The second phase is the “giving in order to get” phase; it’s a trading or bartering perspective. We trade like for like with an expectation that when we give, we will get something of equal or greater value in return. It’s like giving water and fertilizer to apple trees so you can get apples.
The third phase is about creating maximum value. We are beyond the point of feeling like we need to get something, whether we trade something for it or not. At this stage of the game we have figured out how to fulfill our needs and have developed a level of confidence where we can now make a contribution without any expectation, but knowing that there’s a business model for creating massive reciprocity so that getting is inconsequential.
It’s like trying to get a child to come for dinner by simply telling them to come and stop playing with their friends, versus telling them that you made their favourite dessert. That’s layering on the value and making the offer irresistible.
We need to take a stepping stone approach to building on one level at a time so that when you move to the next level it is well-founded and you won’t slip back to the getting phase again.
What most people try to do once they become aware of the different levels is to attempt to skip a level. What they’re forgetting is that there are essential lessons learned at each of the levels. This is so true, because when I became aware of adding value as a way to magnetize clients and business, I wanted to jump right up to the third phase. It’s human nature.
So you may be asking yourself, why do I need to learn about getting? Well it’s because most of us at an early age didn’t get what we wanted or we didn’t ask for what we needed. In a lot of cases we were made to feel that we were wrong for asking and made to feel ashamed for wanting more, so we were made to feel guilty When we grew up, we didn’t feel deserving.
Most people don’t feel as though they can ask for what they want. That’s why it’s critical that you go through the getting phase so that you turn on this selfish aspect of your ego and that will allow you to move on to the second phase. Over time you eventually move to the third phase where you’re creating maximum value.
It’s very beneficial to go through a phase where are you are strictly getting so that you can develop the understanding of what is required to get, which teaches us to ask for what we want. It’s all about becoming okay with receiving and a lot of people have issues with receiving because they never became comfortable with getting or with taking what they wanted for themselves in the first place. Complete the exercise below to see which phase you’re in now.
Self-awareness exercise
- What are you trying to get without giving in your life? What are you trying to manipulate or get some benefit in some sneaky way? What are you trying to get that is causing you internal friction?
- What are you trying to give in order to get? This is where you’re able to give or you’re not quite sure how to get or to receive; the getting part is hard. You don’t feel like you can work out an arrangement with somebody where you spell out the terms of the agreement and state this is what I’m going to give and this is what you’re going to give. Notice where you run into this challenge or where you do this inefficiently and stumble on problems and issues with giving and receiving.
- Think about an area in your life where you’re trying to add maximum value and it’s just not working out the way you thought it would. Perhaps you recognize right now that it’s only because you haven’t worked through the other phases of your giving and receiving development. Write down the place in your life where you’re trying to add maximum value and it isn’t working for you.
Dan LeFave is the “Prepare for Success” coach, No. 1 best-selling author, speaker, habit-changer and the creator of the online program Live Without Limitations – Five Easy Steps to Release Old Limitations and Balance Your Life. He has been profiled on radio shows, in magazines, articles and podcasts, from Manhattan to Vancouver. Dan’s motto is, “Thoughts become untangled as they pass through your lips and over fingertips.” Visit his website.
