Dear Writing Real Estate Rep: It’s a tough market for sellers in my city right now and I’m experiencing a particularly difficult sales slump. How can I work my way out of this situation? — Goin’ Broke
WR: Well, I see two possible directions in a case like this, Goin’. Certainly you could ramp up your marketing efforts to try and match sellers to buyers, or vice-versa. Failing that, I would suggest approaching your family doctor to inquire about a prescription for medical marijuana, just until the separation anxiety from your income subsides, or the market reverses…
Dear Writing Real Estate Rep: My Open House signs keep going missing. Every weekend I put them up to direct possible clients to my listings, but afterwards I go to retrieve them, and they’re all gone! Any idea what is going on here? – Puzzled in PEI
WR: Hi there Puzzled. Well, that is quite a dilemma and probably fairly expensive to be replacing those signs every weekend.
I would advise you to anchor the signs down with tent pegs or perhaps chain them to a signpost nearby. Failing that, drive around the neighbourhood on Sunday, and check for Yard Sale signs that resemble your own former frames. You’d be surprised how easy it is to cover up one for the other.
Dear Writing Real Estate Rep: Whenever a Commission Optional Real Estate Sellers agent brings in an offer on one of my listings, they expect to get paid…a commission. How do I broach this without getting into a legal fracas? — I. Ronic
WR: Well I., it is a free market system and since I have no way of knowing if you are a Competition Bureau employee masquerading as a writer here, I will have to simply suggest that life in general is a fracas.
Dear Writing Real Estate Rep: Call me crazy, but I’m pretty sure my new listing is haunted by a ghost. Who ya gonna call? — Po Sessed
WR: Dear Crazy. First off, I’d call a grammar coach.
Dear Writing Real Estate Rep: I’m a newly licensed real estate agent and I’d like a fast recipe for success. Help? — Newbee Ruki
WR: Dear Newbee. I’ve never been much of a chef, but let me see if I can “cook” up something that may help you: 1) Take a dash of hard work 2) Sprinkle in tireless prospecting and preparation for working with clients 3) Try to get an office next to your office’s top producer, simmer in their knowledge and experience 4) After three months of simmering, try getting out of your chair and listing a dang home for sale.
Dear Writing Real Estate Rep: I keep hearing about location, location, location. What does that mean in real estate? — Clue Les WR
WR: Dear Clue. That popular phrase can mean many things. It can be the perfect listing, in the perfect place, which will sell effortlessly. It can be your trusty GPS when you are lost out in the wilderness trying to find a rural acreage for sale, only to find out that the renter drug dealers have planted trees in the driveway to prevent you from finding the property. Try and get more of the first example, to make your career less stressful.
Humour columnist and author Dan St. Yves was licensed with Royal LePage Kelowna for 11 years. Check out his website at danstyves.com.
