I went to see Marley and Me, a great movie with a poignant story, with my youngest son Jeff and my wife Audrey. It was New Year’s Day 2009, and for Jeff, at the age of 42, it may be his last New Year’s celebration.
In early December, Jeff suffered a seizure while driving. He crashed his beloved BMW into a hydrant and was taken by EMS to St. Joseph’s Hospital in Toronto. After tests, x-rays and numerous c-scans, it was determined he had no broken bones or contusions.
But Jeff has been diagnosed with inoperable cancer. He has three lesions in the brain and a collapsed lung. And yes, Jeff has been smoking at least a pack a day or so since he was 15.
When we were called into the family room at the hospital, we were obviously shaken to see the palliative care worker there and the oncologist, as well as the internist specialist. Shocked to the core, we left the room with the knowledge that our son Jeff had inoperable cancer and maybe only six months to live.
Jeff always has led a “rebel” existence, choosing to drop out of school early and take on various jobs. From the days at the Prince Hotel to Shoppers Drug Mart to construction, he always excelled, but never really wanted to stay at anything other than construction. As a confirmed bachelor, he’s led a solitary lifestyle with his beloved cats, computers and construction equipment.
Love of family and friends has always been and always will be his credo, especially his love for his 95-year-old grandmother, Sadie.
Cancer has run in his late mother’s side of the family for two generations. His mother, my late ex-wife Maxine, died at the age of 59 and her Dad, at age 60. Is there a message here?
A “maven” at computers, technology is also one of his incredible God-given talents. At one time several years ago, he undertook a supervisory role in Belleville, Ont., to lay four km of sewer pipe and he did it successfully.
As hard as it was to write about our grandson Luke’s passing several weeks ago, this article is the hardest I’ve ever attempted to do for REM readers.
Cancer, they say, can be beaten and in many cases it can be. We have in Canada excellent health care, which makes us the envy of the entire world. Be glad you pay the taxes to have this fantastic benefit.
So, how is Jeff doing now that he’s had radiology at Princess Margaret here in Toronto? He’s lost his hair and brags that I’ve got more hair, which isn’t much as you can judge from my photo. He’s not opting for chemotherapy. He’s going to have Vitamin C shots.
Our family is, of course, devastated by the news. But strangely enough, it has brought his two sisters, Lesley and Jodi and his elder brother David, closer together. His aunt and uncle have been more than helpful in assisting us in caring for his needs.
What’s the message here from my desk as I see it? Here it is: If you have loved ones who smoke, you must encourage them to stop. Ask them if they want to see their children grow up or live to enjoy their grandchildren.
My son Jeff’s credo now is to enjoy every day to the fullest, regardless of his major health problems. He’s more worried about his dad’s health and his mom’s health, than he is about his own.
We’ve now come to realize with sudden joy, the truest character of our child. He’s a real “mench” (a good person).
Unfortunately, too many of you who will be reading this column have had your own family tragic situations to deal with. Let’s hope that the message gets out there, there is no benefit to smoking.
We’d like to hear from you as to how you’re handling this type of sad news or how you have handled it. And yes, we’re getting some professional help. My broker, Patricia Costanzo, has been truly understanding and empathetic as she and her family went through the same several years ago with her husband Joe.
My family and I will devote the rest of our lives to assisting the Canadian Cancer Foundation in their efforts to secure a cure for this terrible disease.
“Sometimes we dream we wake up in Holland with tulips all around, and then we wake up in a field of rocks and thorns.” – Anonymous
Editor's note: Jeff Albert died at home on January 29. Our condolences go to Stan and Audrey and their family. Memorial donations may be made to the Toronto Humane Society – (416) 392-2273.
Stan Albert is celebrating his 39th year in active real estate, and is with Re/Max Excellence in Woodbridge, Ont. He serves on committees at RECO and at the Toronto Real Estate Board. He is an established trainer and business consultant and can be reached at salbert@trebnet.com.
Stan Albert, ABR, ASA is a consultant with Re/Max Premier in Vaughan, Ont. He can be reached for consultation by email. Stan is now celebrating his 45th year as an active real estate professional.
