Starting out a brand-new year, perhaps it might be a great time to either try locating some items you’ve misplaced over the years, or hand in others you may have accumulated along the way, which weren’t yours in the first place.
I wonder what sales reps lost and found ads might look like?
(Cue swirly smoke and blurry lighting…)
FOUND: One electronic measuring tape. Found in recent new listing, possibly belonging to fellow sales rep? Could be prior owners of home, but given battered condition it likely belongs to technologically inept listing agent? Also, FYI – your listing suggests “measurements TBD”? This is starting to sound familiar – Bob, call me when you read this…
LOST: Recently misplaced, newer electronic measuring tape. Could be anywhere, I carried that thing around with me all the time. Even bowling. Distinguished by retro “distressed” look, almost as if someone had battered it repeatedly against a marble pillar when it couldn’t even measure an empty wall less than 10-feet long. If you happen across anything like this, even at the grocery store, or out in a vacant field, call Bob at 777-9999.
FOUND: Discovered several old lockboxes in our office’s closet, possibly from 2001. Did someone forget to try selling these when they left the business? They are in great condition, but like so many models, year after year, had to be replaced by “technology updates”, no longer supporting “old” technology. Could be reused by utility companies, or perhaps as a very small fishbowl for your kids?
LOST: Hoping someone has come across two quite attractive argyle socks, left behind abruptly when I was soaking my feet during an open house, and out of the blue, the owners came home unexpectedly. Grabbed my shoes, but the socks were too far away, airing out over the toaster. They are distinguished by little silhouettes of a golfer on each ankle. Contact James at Reelty Activities.
FOUND: One copy of a VHS version of 9 to 5, left somewhat mysteriously in my briefcase. Not entirely sure how that could even happen? Ohh….say, maybe it might be a good idea to head home a little earlier today – hold off on responding, let’s give this a bit more consideration.
LOST: Set of perfectly good marbles. Recently rattling around inside my head, misplaced recently after agreeing to co-list with my buddy Bob. We can’t agree on a list price, a marketing plan – haven’t even been able to measure the property yet! Can’t seem to find my electronic measuring tape anywhere.
FOUND: A paperback copy of Easy Riches With Social Media Marketing. I realize the irony that this is the 27th time I’ve tweeted out this notice, but…
LOST: Our broker/office manager. Answers to Harold. Last seen in an arbitration hearing over a commission dispute between two of my colleagues. Things apparently got quite heated….just listening innocently through the adjacent office wall. He may have taken a leisurely drive into the countryside until both agents cooled off, or could be considering arranging a “winner-take-all” mixed martial arts competition to determine unbiased resolution. Hey, we don’t call him Hare-Brained Harold for nothing!
Humour columnist and author Dan St. Yves was licensed with Royal LePage Kelowna for 11 years. Check out his website at danstyves.com.
