By Toby Welch
Most successful sales reps work hard to maintain their database of potential clients, and it stings when you find out a friend or family member is using somebody else to buy or sell their home. How do you react when it happens to you?
Kathy Pilon
Pilon continues, “So how did I respond to that? My nephew talked to me about the process and how it worked. As far as I was concerned, the responsibility was all mine. What is the problem here? Education. I can’t assume that just because my family and friends know I’m in real estate that they know what that means, how I get paid, how I can help them, or what options they have when it comes to finding a home or running into a very exciting real estate opportunity. Talk to people and let them know how our business works. Bottom line, educate. Make sure that family and friends know that no matter what real estate situation arises, even if they can get the information, you can help put it together.”
Pilon says that “taking things personally is one of the hardest things I have had to learn to work through in real estate. Some people are just born with a thicker skin or are more disconnected. I think that most good salespeople are also people-people and we get hurt feelings.”
Shelley Gossett, a sales rep with Re/Max Little Oak Realty Ltd. in Abbotsford, B.C., says, “Taking the high road in this situation is the best choice, but it can be very difficult… Unfortunately feelings are often hurt when this happens and a breach in the relationship is inevitable. Remind yourself that they have either been bulldozed into another real estate relationship; or they want to keep their matters private and the biggest investment they’ll ever make in the hands of a total stranger, which is their prerogative. And remember, you could be the ‘total stranger’ in another scenario.”
Shelley Gossett
Gossett continues, “When it’s all said and done, you have done nothing wrong! You are still the best ‘you’ and there are other great friends, family members and people you don’t know who will undoubtedly ‘use’ you! And remember to delete them from your database because there is no point in wasting your resources and time. For the successful Realtor, it’s a life lesson that won’t let anything deter them from succeeding.”
“There is nothing wrong with running a business based on the personal relationships in your life. In fact, it’s an extremely rewarding way to work and live! But it’s just plain wrong to assume that your friends and acquaintances owe you anything and besides being wrong, it’s a great way to chase off perfectly good friendships and future business opportunities.”
Should you discuss the issue with the person who didn’t use your services? Pilon says, “I often wonder if going to people and asking about their decision is a good thing or a bad thing. Do people really tell you why they did something or they didn’t do something? My experience is that if there really is an issue, they tell you something to answer your question that will not hurt your feelings. You don’t get the real reason and all that has happened is you have made them uncomfortable and put them on the spot. Better to be supportive and if they happen to add some explanation, great. If not and you have supported them, next time they have a question or a referral they may think of you.”
Pilon offers advice on what to do in this scenario:
* Evaluate: Is there something I missed? Have I talked with them about real estate? What could I do different next time? Ask, ask, ask.
* Respect: Whatever decision they made is their decision and ultimately they have the right to make it.
* Grace: Provide them with this as well. Let it go. “In my experience it goes a long way to getting business in the future,” says Pilon.
* Don’t over-evaluate: “I have discovered that trying to understand WHY is the biggest waste of time on the planet. People make decisions in a particular way because they do. That’s it. Most of the time it has absolutely nothing to do with us. Learn, move on. Don’t beat up yourself. Another huge waste of time,” she says.
* Remember they are still your family and friends. “The tallest tree bends the farthest.”
The bottom line: Try hard not to take it personally when a loved one doesn’t use your services.
