Real estate slogans you never asked for

Nothing sells like great real estate slogans, or at least that’s what marketing and branding professionals suggest.

But what if you’re just not all that prolific with verse, or you’re non-creative when it comes to crafty comments? How will you stand out in your field without a witty slogan to call your own?

Happily, I’m here to help. Or at least offer suggestions you may just want to slowly back away from. Whatever, they’re here for the taking. And they’re conveniently broken down into categories, wherever you fit into the real estate sales spectrum.

For individual agents (it helps if you happen to have the same name that is in the slogan, but how much could it cost to change yours, if you like one of these?):

“Get Packin’ With Mackin!” (Also handy if you happen to own a gun and tackle store.)

“I Can Sell, Like A Gazelle!” (Wow. This rhyming thing is harder than I thought it would be.)

“I’ll Sell Your Home, Call ‘Quick-Sale Jerome’!” (Hey, that one isn’t half bad!)

“I’ve Got Buyers For Your Castle, Call Me, Basil Jastle!” (That guy sounds like a lesser-known member of the extended royal family.)

For commercial Realtors:

“If You Need Space For Leasing, Our Services Are Never Ceasing!” (tireless – who doesn’t like that in their agent/client relationship?)

“Want Office Space To Rent? Call Bent & Dent!” (also handy for a damaged goods liquidator business.)

Real estate teams:

“We Want Your Business, Call Marty & Luke, For Shizness!” (artistic license with the street cred use.)

“Need More Space For Your Cotton Batting? We’re The Knights, In White Satin!” (Okay, I’ll admit the first half is a stretch, but that last half could be a song title!)

“Upgrade Your Dwelling, With Heath, Hart & Schmelling!” (Man, all kidding aside, some of these are really gold.)

“We’ll Sell Your Pad, Call Pel, Mel, & Brad!” (Yowza! I should have trademarked that one!)

“When You Gotta Leave Your Cave, Hire Wally, Ringo & Dave!”

Real estate agencies:

“If A Relocation Has You At That Stage, Use Our Agents At Loyal RePage!”

“Mansions or Shacks, Call ReLax, and Packs!” (Grammar was never really my strong suit.)

“If Your Domicile Is Getting Danker, Call WoldCell Kanber!” (If you just move a few letters around, it may look more familiar.)

“Marital Split Or Just Got Married? We’re Your Pick – Splits & Joiners!” (That was also the name of Abraham Lincoln’s side gig when he did woodwork.)

Well, there you have it. Upon closer observation, none of those may be suitable for use, unless you did a quick Google search ahead of trying one on for size and ensured that no one else was already using one of these suggestions.

Or, if you’re level-headed and far more competent at coming up with slogans than I apparently ever was.