Some salespeople enjoy a good challenge when it comes to marketing a property. Give them an encroachment on to federal land, a condo building missing parts of the roof… heck, even a Hell’s Angels clubhouse infested with termites. No matter what, certain agents have a gift for making problem properties palatable.
The average salesperson, however, or a fresh-faced rookie just starting out might prefer their properties a little more on the swiftly salable side. A cream puff, so to speak.
What are the attributes of these mythical properties? What makes one home more marketable than another? Is there even such a thing as a “perfect listing?”
Let’s consider a few scenarios, entirely fabricated from thin air (my imagination):
1) You’ve been called over by a potential client to do a listing presentation for their home – a waterfront property facing glorious sunsets in the evening, with a large yard that offers privacy and tranquility. Is this a perfect listing?
a) Yes! There’s only so much waterfront property available and prospective purchasers will stampede over one another to be the first to make an offer on this home.
b) Maybe. Depending on how close you can get the homeowners down to a salable list price, you may go bankrupt spending advertising dollars on their “rare and precious commodity”.
c) No! It’s not often you see a sewage processing lagoon so close to an airport, but this home next to the main runway also has the misfortune of methane-producing cattle grazing right beside it, on tumbleweed moisturized by those very waters. Pack up your briefcase and run for the hills!
2) You’ve been called over by prospective clients to do a listing presentation on their darling little cottage outside the city. This recreational property is in a beautiful resort area that is indeed in very high demand. Is this a perfect listing?
a) Yes! They just don’t make land anymore, so if interested parties want to have their own little slice of recreational heaven, they’ll pay dearly for it!
b) Maybe. There were some rumblings among the rural councillors that there might have to be a one-time levy somewhere around 1,000 per cent of property values to offset the losses from the 25-year embezzlement of homeowner fees.
c) No! The recreational property has recently been purchased by Donald Trump’s casino division, and his plans are to raze the surrounding pristine woodlands to relocate his shuttered Atlantic City Taj Mahal project, along with a long-planned monument to himself, resembling The Statue of Liberty with a blond comb-over and sneering scowl. But two times taller than the original.
3) You’ve been called over by potential clients to do a listing presentation for their home – an average home in an average area, and they HAVE to sell. Is THIS a perfect listing?
a) Yes! Finally, something that everyone wants, that will likely be priced to sell quickly. Make sure they press hard, there are three copies!
b) Maybe. Sell it quickly, before seller’s remorse has a chance to set in, and sink your listing ship.
c) No. They sold it privately to their neighbour while you were on the drive over. Curse those over-the-fence chats!
Well, hopefully some of those scenarios helped clarify things for you, if you ever wondered what a perfect listing looked like. Like unicorns and leprechauns, they can be hard to spot.
Humour columnist and author Dan St. Yves was licensed with Royal LePage Kelowna for 11 years. Check out his website at danstyves.com.
