How do you get good people, who want to be successful and who have been more than adequately trained on how to be successful, to put their knowledge into practice just long enough to become successful?
The real estate industry is grid-locked with training courses and systems. For every problem a new course or system has been developed. Seminars, websites and a plethora of related materials have spawned an entire industry, feeding on the crisis of perpetual failure and mediocrity. Unfortunately, we have overlooked the chaos of human nature.
We all gravitate to the line of least resistance. After all the courses and the seminars and all the rest of the hype are done, we are left with decent human beings who will do almost anything to avoid those activities that they know are essential for their success.
The tragic history of the real estate industry tells the full story:
- 85 per cent who become a licensed this year will be gone within three years.
- 55 per cent will be effectively gone in one year.
- 85 per cent of the rest will wallow in mediocrity throughout their “career”.
Why? Why do we have difficulty overcoming avoidance behaviour?
Contrary to the belief of many managing brokers and trainers, agents are not really lazy and they are not under-motivated. They are fully equipped to be successful. If something seems irrational it must be emotional. There is an emotional root cause for this apparent chaos of human nature.
This is a psychological crisis. For the most part, the continuing failure to succeed in the presence of opportunity and ability must be characterized as wilful, destructive behaviour.
This is certainly the breeding ground for high-level stress and anxiety. Our natural response to such severe emotional conditions is to seek refuge and avoid it at all costs. It is part of our instinctive nature.
Stress is always caused when we do things we know we shouldn’t do and/or when we don’t do things we know we should do.
When we connect the dots it is clear that knowledge is the cause of all stress. We have often heard it said that knowledge is power. Not so. The best use of knowledge is power. Unused knowledge is the cause of all stress because it is linked to feelings of guilt and inferiority.
So why do good and decent human beings, whose dreams and hopes are often coupled with serious responsibilities, continue to wallow in the pathetic wasteland of mediocrity while in full view of the Promised Land? It simply doesn’t make sense if we judge it merely from the position of knowledge and opportunity.
We are all susceptible to some form of addictive behaviour. Most of it is socially acceptable.
Mediocrity is a social disease. All addictions are connected to the notion of escapism. There is one piece of real science that weighs in heavily as an underlying factor. Every addiction comes with a conditioned response to the tranquility that accompanies the cerebral release of endorphins. There is a moment, even in the darkest of addictions that a rush of endorphins calms the fears, dramatically reduces the feelings of anxiety and then, one more time, the lion has been caged.
What has all this got to do with our business? Let’s look at the everyday life of a sales rep. Most sales reps go on a “pretend to prospect.” They organize themselves to work rather than work. Organization is a good thing but prospecting is better.
The good is always the enemy of the best! The conditioned response to escape has been reinforced every time we avoid “the best”. Tranquility has been restored.
The reduction of anxiety is more appealing, in the moment, to the potential stress of doing the activity that is essential for success, even in the face of pressing personal needs. The addiction of avoidance behaviour is sadly a part of our behavioural repertoire. How then can we control it?
It has long been held that “Once an addict always an addict.” Addicts will never be “cured.” That is true. We will have to war against this relentless foe all of our lives if we want to be successful. The only way to manage it, in every situation, is to get life in perspective.
Once a decision is made to avoid prospecting, we are allowing someone who doesn’t care whether we live or die to intimidate us sufficiently to forego our dreams and family responsibilities. Most people don’t care about us mainly because they don’t know us. They don’t care whether we make it in life or not. Why should they? But for many of us there are those who are depending on us to create a great life and build a freedom that comes with financial stability. They love us and need us. So let’s get life in perspective.
The next time you have an opportunity to prospect, here is one way to harness the fear and overwhelm the addiction for that particular moment. Think about those who love you and are counting on you. Get a special photograph of them, put it the windshield visor of your car, put it on your desk and use it to fortify yourself. When your heart begins to palpitate and your mouth goes dry and the “fear” sets in, look at the picture and get your life in perspective.…”They” don’t care about you but your family loves you…. “They” don’t care whether you make it in life or not but your family is depending on you making it… “They” don’t care whether you live or die but your family would grieve forever if you did.
Get your life in perspective. You and yours deserve it!
Cliff Baird, MBA, PhD is a clinical psychologist and a former professor at Wilfrid Laurier. He has spent more than 35 years in real estate. He created a 32-office franchise, developed several online recruiting profiles, was the keynote speaker for every major real estate franchise in the USA and Canada and was a featured keynote speaker for 12 years in a row at the NAR convention. Visit his website.
