“Don’t take it personally.”

When one of your customers is preparing to give you some bad news, they always start with the disclaimer, “Don’t take it personally”. They say “it’s not about you” or “it’s not your fault” or “we just decided on someone/something else”.

As recently shared by author Seth Godin, there is a paradox here. First of all, how else do they think you would take it? They are rejecting you! They are telling you no. It’s hard not to take it personally. On the other hand, it’s never personal, it’s not about you… It’s all about them! After all, they are the customer.

It really boils down to staying mentally tough enough to handle rejection in sales and move on. Here are some ideas on how to do that:

1. Be sure that they really are saying no. Often a good question to ask is, “What do you need to see/hear/feel to help you choose my solution to meet your needs?” Maybe they aren’t as sure about saying no as they sound.
2. If it is a definite no, take a deep breath and get over it. Rejection is never easy and at the same time, it’s part of the process of commissioned sales. It’s not realistic to expect everyone to say yes, is it?
3. What would you normally do next if it was just another sales call or phone call? Go back to your daily routine. The faster you get back on the horse, the quicker the pain goes away. Next!
4. If you are still having trouble getting over it, there is one more solution. Decide on a specific length of time and date that you are going to be frustrated, disappointed and in mourning. When the time is up, it’s business as usual. Make it a short cycle and get back to your life. No drama allowed.

The next time someone starts off a sentence by saying, “Don’t take it personally,” make sure you pay attention to what they say. They’re telling the truth. It’s not about you! It’s always about them because that’s who they are looking after. Great salespeople work on their mental toughness every day. Focus on your victories, not your losses. Besides, your victories are a lot more fun to remember. No excuses.

The fear factor

One of the things that can inhibit sales success is fear. It can stop you from moving forward. On the other hand, fear can force you to do things that otherwise might never get done. Either way, fear has a lot of power over most people. You become afraid of what might happen. You become afraid of failing. Some people are even afraid of success.

The key is to know when fear is holding you back and what opportunities your fears offer you. There is always an upside to fear.

The expression, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself” comes to mind. When fear rears its ugly head, the important thing is to tackle it head on! Take this approach:

1. Identify the item/task that is creating your fear (that sales call, that new script, asking for a referral, closing three to five times).
2. Don’t overanalyze, just ask yourself, “What is the worst thing that could happen here?”
3. Now ask yourself, “What will the result be when I face this fear and move past it?”
4. Here’s the critical part. Weigh out the answers to these two questions and decide, “Which fear has more power over me? Doing it or not doing it?”

Once you have made your choice, move forward and stop thinking about it. Often the fear of doing something is more painful than taking action and actually doing it. Take action! A corollary to some of your fears is the fear that “this might really work”. Don’t be afraid of success, have courage and embrace your ability to move forward. More importantly, as Susan Jeffers said in her best seller, “Feel the fear and do it anyway!” No excuses.

Bruce Keith

Bruce Keith is a leading Real Estate Coach/Author/Speaker. Like Bruce Keith Results on Facebook or connect with Bruce on Linkedin.​ ​Email Bruce Keith.