It was a rainy fall day in October 2015. I was inching through downtown traffic when an agent from one of our offices called me. One of my jobs was to help our agents when they had clients who had real estate needs outside of our service area.

“What’s the situation?” I asked. The agent explained that her friend and her friend’s husband had both died of cancer within some 12 months of each other, orphaning two young children. The children were being adopted by an unmarried uncle on the other side of the country. While he was a successful professional with a well-paying job, his urban bachelor pad wasn’t going to be sufficient, especially since he was also in the process of relocating his parents from Europe to the United States to help him raise his nephew and niece. 

We worked closely with our affiliate in the destination market to find an agent who was very knowledgeable about real estate and, importantly, also deeply empathetic. Around six months later, an email arrived containing a very rewarding photo: the uncle, his parents and the children smiling in front of a generous suburban home, on a snowy day.

Part psychologist, part salesperson: Transactions often weighted with emotionally fraught situations

It has been said before and it bears repeating: a home is the biggest investment most people will ever make — an investment often weighted with emotionally fraught situations. This combination tends to lead to intense and transparent interactions.

The best agents will readily tell you they are part psychologist, part salesperson. On a recent listing presentation, one of our agents spent hours with a woman who was going through a nasty divorce, listening to her and advising her gently on what small improvements and tweaks she could make to increase the saleability of her home. Our agent may or may not get the listing assignment, but she knows on a human and professional level that she’s truly been of service. 

Dealing with the ‘3 Ds’: Divorce, death & debt

In the course of working with their clients, real estate agents often encounter the “3 Ds”: divorce, death and debt. While it may sound trite, it isn’t: these are delicate human situations of almost sacred importance.

With most professionals — dentists, lawyers, accountants — if you need to meet them, you go to their office. But agents often come to their clients’ homes, even if they’ve never met them before.

They’re invited in, literally and figuratively into all the joys and misfortunes it contains. They help a couple find a new place for their growing family, the living room where their child will take his first steps, the bedroom where their daughters will sleep. For another family, they help navigate a marriage breakup and the division of the home — what is (usually) the biggest financial asset and also the one with the most relational baggage.

The soul of the real estate agent (it’s not the legal framework and compensational mechanics we see in the news)

Organized real estate has been much in the news over the last year. The class-action lawsuits in the U.S. and similar, earlier-stage actions in Canada focus industry and media attention on the legal framework and compensational mechanics of the real estate business.

For agents, these factors are background noise, secondary to the trusted advisor work they perform on a day-to-day basis. Good agents don’t do it for the money; they do it because they love to help people, even (or especially) in complex, tragic and delicate situations.

Making a living is a byproduct of the help agents offer families — this is the soul of the real estate sales professional.