Current market conditions in many of Canada’s larger cities are creating opportunities; with increased inventory and less competition, buyers have more choices, and motivated sellers are open to negotiation.

For Realtors, navigating these discussions successfully is no small feat. Many deals fall apart due to poor negotiation—whether it’s giving up too soon, engaging in unnecessary arguments or relying too heavily on logic when experts say emotions and psychology drive decision-making.

The good news? Negotiation is a skill that can be learned, including the confidence required to improve. It’s all teachable, says Suze Cumming, a real estate negotiation coach and former top-producing Toronto agent.

Preparation is key

Cumming, who says she succeeded in high-pressure transactions as a top-producing Realtor in Toronto for 20 years before training at Adler (a university specializing in psychology), notes that top business schools advocate four hours of preparation for every hour of negotiating.

“Realtors are paid significant amounts of money to professionally negotiate on behalf of clients,” she points out, noting that understanding the stakeholders involved, how they respond and what they value is as important as knowing the financials.

To get that intel, Ann Frost, associate professor at Western University’s Ivey Academy and co-lead of its Collaborative Negotiation program, suggests leveraging your team and brokerage as a resource. “Talk about what you’ve done. Share stories and lessons learned,” she says. “Ask questions and seek advice from those who’ve been there.”

Extracting information and navigating difficult agents

A skilled negotiator must know how to extract helpful details, even when the opposing agent is guarded, Cumming insists. Ethical information-sharing benefits both parties, yet many agents lack the training to differentiate between what can and can’t be shared.

Frost teaches being open and vulnerable to close deals. “We establish connections with people through that. Once I’m open with you, I can put all my cards on the table because I trust you, and you’ll do the same. If I’m holding my cards close, in the end, maybe there’s no deal. No one wins as there’s value we didn’t exploit.”

Cumming asserts Realtors’ jobs include having that conversation with their counterparts. “Encourage them to collaborate (within) the rules,” she advises, adding how “blown away” she is by agents who don’t research the other party online. “That’s a no-brainer.”

Disarming aggression and balancing competition and collaboration

While Cumming champions “deliberate, strong collaborativeness,” where all stakeholders’ needs are met through strategic conversations and deep understanding, the real estate world is full of competitive negotiators who, she cautions, “come at you.”

Her antidote is the “negotiator’s dilemma,” a balance of competitive and collaborative strategies. A skilled negotiator recognizes when to shift gears, by disarming an aggressive counterpart or using strategy to maintain control, she notes.

“There’s a lot of aggression in our world right now…It multiplies,” Cumming observes, noting the skills to diffuse it are crucial to agents’ ability to negotiate today.

For example, knowing to stay on “high alert,” as a shift in tone, evasiveness or an overly charming demeanour can signal a highly aggressive negotiator seeking an edge, she warns. Cumming recommends testing their trustworthiness with a minor, non-damaging information offer. “See what they do with it and if they give you (anything) back. If they don’t and get smug, adjust accordingly.”

If all else fails when emotions run high, Frost advises simply taking a time-out. “Come back later. Otherwise, there won’t be any good outcome.”

Adapting strategy to market conditions, beyond price

Cumming highlights that agent-client conflict can start at the listing stage when property value opinions are shared. “You need to create a relationship with your seller and work toward the same end—listing isn’t enough, especially when properties aren’t selling. It’s about developing and executing a strategy together,” something she says requires a massive amount of connection and trust.

However, negotiations aren’t solely about price. “Once you satisfy (price), most people have other important issues,” like timing on offer duration and closing dates or the conditions added, Cumming explains. She adds that people often bicker over used items with little to no value, like furnishings or appliances. “It’s a bad place for people to lose their ego…It distracts from getting the terms right for the deal.”

Power shifts between buyers and sellers depending on economic conditions, and successful agents assess and adjust. In competitive bidding situations, securing any advantage—like meeting a seller’s non-monetary priorities—can make all the difference, Cumming notes.

“When you don’t have power, you must find out what’s important to the other side and give it to them,” whether it’s showcasing a buyer’s story in a letter, offering low to no financial risk with a large down payment or something simpler.

Frost echoes this notion, citing a time she bought a property from someone who wasn’t concerned about price, “We couldn’t afford it and were about to walk, but he took $100,000 off…He wanted a quick sale—that was important to him, so we traded off on price.”

She notes that sometimes both sides want the same thing—to quickly and easily close the deal—making for an easier negotiation. Taking what both parties want or don’t want off the table early on establishes goodwill and momentum, which Frost says, “helps with progress, likely making it easier to deal with the hard stuff at the end.” After all, she notes, people want to help those they like.

Keeping a crumbling deal alive

If negotiations stall despite best efforts, Cumming advises determining whether a Zone of Possible Agreement (ZOPA)—or overlap in what the buyer’s willing to pay and what the seller’s willing to take—exists. If there’s room to move, skilled negotiators use techniques to reduce defensiveness, foster open discussion and guide clients toward mutually beneficial outcomes.

Above all, it’s never about pushing them toward a deal or price, which many agents do, Cumming stresses. “This is why they’re not trusted. The fact that the industry and its reward system is commission-centred teaches agents to push, meaning they skip over the real client experience and service, and the complex skills of putting great transactions together.”

Instead, she insists it’s about finding a way to create the right environment for people to make important decisions for themselves.