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Debbie Hanlon: From conned to confident

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A Realtor I know told me last week she was on Facebook and an ad popped up telling her that her resolution was wrong and if she wanted to reach more people, she should give them a call and they would assist her. It all sounded legit and above-board, so she decided to try their services.

One hundred dollars later, she had nothing to show for it, except to find out that the real Facebook doesn’t even have a phone number. It was a lesson learned the hard way. The Realtor told me she felt ever so violated and, well, a little stunned. That was heightened when she had to call and cancel her credit cards and close and reopen her PayPal accounts… what a drag! Like we are not busy enough as it is!

Anyhow, that agent need never feel lonely, because millions of users are scammed daily on Facebook. Some just want your contact list so they can send out their spam to more people, and for every friend who opens it, their contacts get it too. Other scams cost you more than just embarrassment, they cost you your hard-earned dollars.

Anyone who has been in this business for any length of time, anybody who’s been playing this crazy wonderful game of real estate knows how precarious our careers can be. We have no guaranteed income. If we don’t sell we don’t make money. Unfortunately, that kind of uncertainty in our career makes us an easy target for scammers like those who duped that agent. There can be a certain desperation about our normal working day that nobody outside of commissioned sales can even begin to understand. We want an easier way and we’re willing to believe people when they tell us they can sell us one.

So, what do we do? We can’t change the many demands this industry puts on us. We can’t stop deals from falling apart at the last minute like they sometimes do. There are a million and one things we have no control over in our working lives and we cannot change them. Not one. So, what we do is, we change our reaction to them.

Before you start thinking that you can’t change how things affect you, don’t for one second allow that thought inside your head. Start thinking you can and just like that, you have taken the first step. So, when a deal that looked like gold this morning turns to lead after dinner, tell yourself you can control how you react. Simply by saying, “I can control how I react to this” you’ve given yourself time to exhale and put up a verbal wall against the dark thoughts that want to flood in. Don’t let them. This may seem like the end of the world but if you think about it you’ve probably gotten through way worst things than this before. When you have a challenging client, and we have all have them, think about an even more challenging client you’ve had. Just that little act will immediately make you feel better.

Freeing your mind that way and choosing how you react to the daily obstacles and disappointments we sometimes encounter will allow you to concentrate on what matters, improving your quality of life and making money. Tackling the things that could knock you over before lunch gives you a certain confidence. That confidence grows every time you take control of the only thing you can at times and that’s turning your reaction into an action and moving on from it.

As your confidence grows, so will your bank account because people are attracted to confident people.  If I’m having a doubtful moment I often remember my past successes and bang, I immediately become 10-feet tall and bulletproof. This all happens simply by allowing yourself a couple of seconds of peace as you recite, “I can control how I react to this.”

Try it! It’s not a scam, trust me.

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