By
John Polito

We
live in a very judgmental world, peopled by numerous societies, with each
society employing their own standards for judging people.

For
example, in Paris
they say, “You are what you wear.” In Los
Angeles, “You are what you drive”. In Canada, from St. John’s
to Vancouver,
we embrace a combination of both.

Regardless
of where you live, the intention of members of all societies is to favourably
impress the people they come into contact with. They accomplish this by
employing the trappings unique to each society that spells Success. The finer
the trappings, the higher the level of success is deemed to be.

Sadly,
these people are like one-trick ponies who hit the rail and end up in the mud
when they open their mouths to speak.

There
is one universal common element that everyone is judged by, and that is the
spoken word. Regardless of your appearance, dress or vehicle, once you begin to
speak, the Real You emerges, and the illusion you have tried so hard to create
is either validated or rapidly disintegrates.

In
the real estate world, there are three situations when opening your mouth to
speak can leave the “Real You” naked to the world for all to judge.

1.
Profanity. Day in day out, at the movies, on TV, radio or out walking the dog,
we are constantly being bombarded with profanity. It comes at us from all
directions. It’s to the point that foul language is becoming acceptable in
every day, every-occasion speech. If you don’t believe it, stop and take a moment
to reflect on the conversation that goes on within your office. You be the
judge.

Now,
let’s go back in time. I want you to recall a situation when you were first
introduced to a new client, and that person engaged in the use of profanity.
Honestly, didn’t you cringe a little inside, and immediately lower your opinion
of that person?

Has
cursing become part of your communication style? If so, stop immediately. There
is absolutely no justification, it’s a lose, lose, lose situation. Profanity
undermines your credibility. It’s like Kryptonite to your image as a
professional Realtor. The bottom line is there is absolutely no reason to
swear.

In
the Navy there is an old saying: Loose lips sink ships.

2.
Vin Veritas: This is an ancient Latin expression that means in wine there is
truth. The truth is, alcohol in any form has the magical power to loosen up the
tightest tongue.

Have
you ever been to a bar and had the occasion to overhear two total strangers
opening up to each other after a few drinks? Skeletons that have been hiding in
the closet for years come rattling out for the entire world to hear and judge.
Perhaps it’s time to face reality and get to know your tolerance for alcohol.
How many drinks does it take to get you feeling right with the world? Regulate
your consumption accordingly.

Your
professional career and personal life can hit the bottom of the slippery slope
when under the influence of alcohol. Confidences are betrayed, careers
destroyed. Loose lips sink ships.

3.
Arguments: Over the years arguments have plank-walked numerous real estate
careers. It is imperative that you avoid arguments at all costs, and I mean at all
costs.

To
accomplish this you must come to recognize the signals of an argument in the
making. Some of the early signs: the discussion drifts off-course; red herrings
cloud the issue; changing personalities begin to emerge; name-calling enters
the picture; there’s change in tone of voice; exchanges become louder and
faster; remarks cut to the bone and can be devastating; faces become red with
anger and frustration; and it feels like you’re living in a powder keg and
giving off sparks.

How
do you defuse the situation? Back off the moment you start to recognize the
early signals of an argument that is beginning to escalate. We no longer settle
issues by dueling or inviting our advisory outside — not if we want to
maintain a professional image.

You
can not win if you allow the argument to continue to the point where someone
has to lose face. You will have created an enemy for life. You may think you
won the battle, but in reality, you have lost the war. In addition — and here’s
the career-killer — your reputation will be forever tarnished by your behaviour
in an unguarded moment. Loose lips sink ships.

We’ve
all heard the phrase, “You can dress him up, but you can't take him to town.” In
the real estate world, it doesn’t matter if you drive a Rolls Royce and look
like a million dollars, if what comes out of your mouth isn’t consistent with
your imaginary trappings of success. All the King’s horses and all the King’s
men will never be able to put your image back together again. Remember:  loose lips sink ships.

John
Polito is an associate broker with 30 years of real estate experience. He is
with Re/Max County Town in Lindsay, Ont.