Referrals feel safe. Referrals feel warm. Referrals often feel like the “right way” to build a real estate business.
But here’s the truth: most agents rely on referrals, but very few have a referral system.
And that gap is exactly where the money leaks out.
In this episode of Leads Are Shit, Andrew Fogliato and Taylor Hack break down the mechanics of a modern referral engine. What works, what doesn’t, and what top agents will be doing differently in 2026.
Below are the biggest lessons, frameworks and tactics pulled straight from the conversation.
Referrals come in two forms
Most agents mix these up and sabotage their numbers.
Passive referrals – These are the “I don’t know, people just call me” referrals. They happen, but they’re not predictable, scalable or controllable.
Orchestrated referrals – These are intentional, systemic and engineered. They come from structured touchpoints, consistent communication and a clear reason for people to refer.
The three-part referral stack
1. Provide a five-star service experience
If a client isn’t excited to tell other people about you, nothing else matters. This is the non-negotiable foundation. This includes clear communication, proactive updates, a frictionless process and post-close support.
2. Run events (small or large) that build community
Events are not “client appreciation.” They’re face-to-face trust accelerators. Done right, they become your reputation engine.
Examples that work include family events, small dinners for top referrers, social gatherings at parks or breweries and cost-effective drop-in micro-events for newer agents.
3. Build a VIP program
Think of every client as paying $5,000 a year for access to your expertise (based on spreading your average commission over their ownership period).
What are you giving them to justify that?
Ideas:
- Annual home-valuation updates
- Access to vetted contractors, designers, lawyers and accountants
- Exclusive workshops (tax updates, renovation insights, basic investment strategy)
- Members-only Q&A sessions
- Preferred-partner perks (the legal version, not the sketchy version)
Identify your referral “whales”
About five per cent of your database sends the majority of your referrals. Stop treating your database like a flat list. Start treating it like a hierarchy.
To find them, track every referral back to the source and identify frequency and quality.
Look for people with wide social circles (think hairdressers, mechanics, fitness instructors, and teachers).
Elevate your VIPs with one-on-one meals, early invites to events, personal gifts and check-ins.
Micro-moments matter
One of the most underrated referral-building tools: short, personal “thought of you” messages. Used sparingly, one to three times per year, these messages plant seeds that pay off for months. They aren’t pushy or salesy. They shift people into referral mode automatically.
Client events: Build them with strategy, not hope
Focus on two main family-friendly events per year, at venues like a trampoline park or a corn maze. It works because when kids are busy, parents are relaxed, setting the table for natural relationship building.
Gifting that gets talked about
Skip generic swag and anything with your logo plastered on it. Instead, give something someone will display, like engraved whiskey bottles (with your client’s name), or personalized Cutco knives.
If someone displays it, their friends ask about it, and referrals happen.
Email tactics (simple but high ROI)
Try this format for the perfect three-sentence email:
- One sentence about the market
- Three recent sales in their neighbourhood
- The highest sale in their area
This drives replies like: “What happened at the Blue House?” Those replies turn into conversations, which lead to intel, which leads to opportunities.
Hot take: Should agents charge for showings?
Short answer: no. Longer answer: it’s a skill issue, not a consumer problem.
Charging for showings signals you can’t qualify buyers and that you can’t create enough value to justify working for free upfront, undercuts the consumer experience and sets the wrong tone
If you want fewer time-wasters, get better at pre-qualifying, setting expectations and building value fast.
The problem isn’t clients. It’s the process.
The bottom line
Referrals don’t “just happen.” They are engineered. If your business feels safe because of referrals, that’s exactly when you should rebuild it.
This episode shows you how. Watch the replay below.
Join the conversation live
Each week, The Leads Are Sh*t brings working agents together to dissect what’s actually working in real estate right now.
Be part of the live recording, get your questions answered and join the after-show conversation.
Related Posts
Kevin Yu on why he stopped being a generalist and built everything around one client
In this episode of Built on Trust, presented by Carson Dunlop, Kevin Yu explains how specializing in move-up buyers changed his marketing, his events, and even his open house schedule.
Chuck Charlton on the consultative skills some agents never develop
Taylor Hack sat down with Chuck Charlton, Royal LePage agent and founder of Charlton Advantage in Milton, Ont., for a deep dive into the human side of real estate that separates top producers from everyone else.
How to give buyers everything they want, before they even ask for it
In this episode of Built on Trust, presented by Carson Dunlop, Roger Travassos explains the listing system that gets homes market-ready in 14 days and why he believes radical transparency is the fastest path to a sale.
Content by REM Bot has been created with the assistance of AI. Audio and video interviews, conducted by our team with real people, are transcribed and repurposed into text for those who prefer reading. REM Bot articles are reviewed by staff before publication to ensure factual accuracy and maintain editorial standards.
